What to Teach Your Children about 9/11

As parents, we teach our children tons of things.  We teach them to walk and to talk, to say please and thank you, to tie their shoes and to pick up their toys.  We teach them to be respectful to their grandparents and other adults, to cooperate when it is appropriate and to go their own way when it is appropriate, and to follow the religious, spiritual, or moral values of our chosen community.  And, if you homeschool, you also teach them all the subjects from Algebra to Zoology.

But one of the most important things that we teach them is what to do when tragedy strikes.  It is easy to be honest and brave and generous and considerate when everything is going your way.  It is when it is not--when we must face the sad, the unthinkable, even the horrific--that shows our true mettle.

So there has been much discussion in the past few weeks about what to teach our young adolescents, who were alive, but not cognisant at the time, about 9/11.  How much should we tell them?  Should we show them the actual videos of the death and the destruction, the fear and the courage, or will that still be too intense for this age?  How do we inform them about terrorism without making them live in fear?  And these are all good question to consider.  Undoubtedly, our students have been receiving more facts about this event in their schools, churches, and homes.

But even more important, I think, is how we model for them how to react to an act like this.  By the way we behave, are we teaching them to blame an entire race of people for the actions of a few?  Are we teaching them to hold onto anger, because of our own beliefs that forgiving will mean forgetting?  Or are we teaching them to look for what good we can, to see the heroism instead of just the terrorism, and to find a positive lesson even as we grieve for what has been lost?

Today, my son and I got to participate in a wonderful way to acknowledge the 10th anniversary of 9/11.  My friend Marcia, who runs the Triangle Kindness Project, lead a group of us in appreciating a few of our local fire fighters.  We delivered cakes donated by Harris Teeter, The Chef's Academy, and TKP to three of the area fire stations.

Terrible picture, but this Harris Teeter cake actually has a picture of one of the fire stations

Marcia read them a wonderful letter she wrote that acknowledged them not only for their service, but the selfless character they demonstrate through their jobs, which is a great role model for all of us, but especially for our children.

The guys were so appreciative, and so nice to us.  They let us try on JUST the air canisters worn by the fire fighters on 9/11 (that alone weighed 60 pounds) to give us an idea of what it was like to charge into the building with a hundred pounds of gear on, and even pulled out some fire engines for us to check out.

At another fire station, most of the fire fighters were out, preparing for some 9/11 commemoration events tomorrow.  The one who remained, however, was working with the Junior Explorers program, which gives high schoolers who are considering a career as a fire fighter after they graduate some hands-on experience in the fire fighting field.

I found it to be a really wonderful way to channel all those feeling and energy we have on 9/11 into a positive expression.  I'm really thankful that my son and I had the opportunity to participate.

I also have to acknowledge my son for his willingness to take part in this activity, which was fairly emotional for me.  Because he is such a wonderful drawer, I asked him to make a card for each of the fire stations.  I left the cards up to his discretion, but told him they should be respectful of the occasion.  He went off and worked on them, and ending up drawing hoses and fire hydrants and SUCH a better fire engine than I could ever draw.

But the best thing of all was what he wrote inside.  He is not like me, who tends to write on and on and on (as any regular reader knows).  In each card, he wrote just a single expression:

Thank you for your immeasurable service.

Then he signed it with his name, followed by "An appreciative kid."

And, really, who could improve on that?