The Songs of 9/11

I'm sorry if I seem too stuck on this theme, which is not directly related to education.  But as I said in my first blog post on this topic,  I'm not sure that any content we can teach our children can compare with the context we teach them about how to deal with this issue and other tragedies that will occur in their lives.  Plus, I consider Washington DC to be my home town, and I know how it feels to live in one of our enemies' Number One targets.

I'm someone who has always been highly effected by music, and we've spent a lot of the summer on music education, so it seems like one way to sum up the responses to 9/11 (and the 10th anniversary thereof) is the music we associate with it.  So here is my take on things.

One of the great things about music is that there is such a variety of musical responses to 9/11 that there is something for everyone.  So let's start with the biggies:  rock and country.  I think those are probably the most popular genres among the entire American population.

Rock
There have been many rock songs about 9/11, but probably the most popular and influential has been Bruce Springstein and his The Rising album.  And that makes sense.  Not only is Springstein a wonderful musician and songwriter, but he came from the area (New Jersey) middle class (his father was a bus driver) population that developed so many of the police and fire fighter heroes of the 9/11 attack.   At our spiritual center, they played Springstein's The Rising as the song after our meditation on healing and peace, and it's hard to think of a better song for that purpose:





Country
There are numerous country songs on this theme, but I think the most famous is Alan Jackson's Where Were You When The World Stop Turning?   Once again, it is hard to beat that one.  What I really like about that song is that is poses some of our choices:

Did you open your eyes, hope it never happened
Close your eyes and not go to sleep?
Did you notice the sunset the first time in ages
Or speak to some stranger on the street?
Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow
Or go out and buy you a gun?
Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watchin'
And turn on "I Love Lucy" reruns?
Did you go to a church and hold hands with some strangers
Did you stand in line and give your own blood?
Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family
Thank God you had somebody to love?

But it always returns to the gifts of spirit, which he says are "faith, hope, and love," and reminds us the greatest of these is love:





Folk Rock
Of the folk rock contenders, my favorite is Melissa Etheridge's Tuesday Morning.  This song is a tribute to a different hero than Springstein's first responders, who died while doing the job they had chosen.  Instead, this song deals with the passengers on Flight 93, the ones who overthrew the terrorists in the belief that it was better to die in a field in Pennsylvania that to be the vehicle of death for others in some unknown destination, but probably a major Washington DC landmark.  Actually, it is dedicated to one in particular--Mark Bingham, a gay man who apparently was one of the leaders of the resistance to the terrorists in the plane.  Etheridge highlights the fact that he died to saved others, even though his native land was denying him some basic privileges.  As she says,

And the things you might take for granted
Your inalienable rights
Some might choose to deny him
Even though he gave his life

It pains me to admit that the day after 9/11/11, the North Carolina legislature voted to put on our ballot a constitutional amendment to deny gay couples the right to marry.   At a time when we should be pulling together, some legislators are insisting that we enact provisions that drive us apart.  So I hope the people of North Carolina will embrace the unifying spirit of 9/11 and reject this legislative mandate.

If you need a reminder why, listen to Etheridge's song:




Classic Rock

Finally, I have to mention a song not typically mentioned in terms of 9/11, at least until recently.  Paul Simon sang at the 10th anniversary commemoration/Ground Zero dedication, and apparently was supposed to sing the more positive-looking Bridge Over Troubled Waters.  But instead, he chose to sing The Sound of Silence, which I have always thought is one of his most beautiful and poetic songs.

Until I wrote this post, however, I never knew that he wrote the song in response to the John K. Kennedy assassination.  But when I learned that, it seemed even more appropriate.  I think the JKF assassination threw an entire generation into shock and upset and re-alignment and questioning, just as the 9/11 killings did for the generation about 40 years later.  And once again, it seems to me that the song is about not just the event, but our choice to use it to either connect, or to avoid each other with the sound of silence.  My favorite lyrics, delivered by the author who has grown gravelly and grey since the time he first shared them with us, are:

"Fools", said I, "You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"

But why not listen for yourself?




To me, all of these songs say that certain events happened, and they weren't very happy events.  They weren't events than most of us could control.  But our interpretations and reactions to those event--that is our responsibility.   We can choose to use these events to move us towards love and connection, or towards hate and separation.  It is our choice.

But, as always, I hope we choose love.  If we can't choose that for ourselves, then let's choose that for our children.  We can leave them a much better world that way.

9/11 Anniversary and 10,000 Acts of Kindness

I wrote yesterday about how we had spent 9/10/11 delivering cakes to local fire fighters in remembrance of those who had died in 9/11 and in appreciation for the character and selflessness it takes to show up for that kind of a job every day.  That had been organized by my friend Marcia's Triangle Kindness Project as part of a 9/11 Anniversary Pay It Forward campaign, in which EnviroMedia would pay $1.00 to the Pay It Forward Foundation for every act of kindness done in honor of 9/11.

So on 9/11 itself, I wanted us to be one of those 10,000 acts of kindness.  But what to do?  I really thought hard about something that we could do that would be worthy of the significance of this anniversary.  What would be the biggest difference we could make?  What would be in keeping with the event?  Then, as so often happens, an idea occurred to me that immediately seemed so right, it knew that was it.

How about, I thought, if we gave some flowers as a sign of unity and good will...to some Muslims?

I bought the flowers from our local farmer's market (helping local farmers--bonus points for that, right?). Most of their flowers had been destroyed by Hurricane Irene, but they did have some sunflowers.  I thought they were the perfect flowers, because they always seem so optimistic and life-affirming to me, without being too girly or romantic or anything like that.  After all, the sun shines on us all equally; it doesn't care if we are Christians or Muslims or Americans or Chinese or whatever.

And I knew just the place to deliver them.  As I stated in an earlier blog, representatives from the Islamic Association of Raleigh had come to our World Religion class to give a presentation on Islam, and we later observed a prayer ceremony at their mosque.  So it seemed perfect to return the favor with some flowers on behalf of the entire class, given in appreciation and in friendship.  I had also found a card with a dove in it (doves have a significant role in Islam as well as in Judaism and Christianity, in addition to their symbol of peace), in which I wrote a message of peace and unity on a day associated with acts of violence and hate.

I have to admit, however, that as we were driving to the Islamic center, I had a few twinges of doubt.  Would this seem too weird?  Is it inappropriate to bring flowers to a mosque?  We had studied the etiquette of visiting, and that wasn't mentioned as a taboo, but maybe they hadn't listed everything.   My son, who has been a real trooper through all this, was a little uncomfortable as well, but we talked about the need to reach out to others who were different from us, even when it is uncomfortable.

However, as soon as I got to the mosque, I knew it was right that we were there.  Because what was sitting in the middle of the parking lot but a police car.

Fortunately, the police officer was very laid back, so it appeared that she was just there in case of trouble, but apparently there hadn't been any so far.  She complimented our flowers, and seemed to be glad to see some people who definitely looked like they didn't belong to the Muslim community dropping by for good purposes, rather than the kinds of reasons she was probably there to deter.

So we went in, and I asked for the man who had spoken to our class.  The people in Security didn't seem to know him, and were asking around among various supervisors, when he walked through the door!  Once again, things aligned perfectly.  It turns out he had spent the morning at a special interfaith service for the 9/11 anniversary held by Habitat for Humanity.  So he had spent his morning reaching out to others on this day, but I think he was touched that others reached out to the Islamic Association as well.

So that was our act of kindness for 9/11.  I hope there were at least 9,999 others, and that all of them were as satisfying and meaningful to those involved as we found our small act to be.

What to Teach Your Children about 9/11

As parents, we teach our children tons of things.  We teach them to walk and to talk, to say please and thank you, to tie their shoes and to pick up their toys.  We teach them to be respectful to their grandparents and other adults, to cooperate when it is appropriate and to go their own way when it is appropriate, and to follow the religious, spiritual, or moral values of our chosen community.  And, if you homeschool, you also teach them all the subjects from Algebra to Zoology.

But one of the most important things that we teach them is what to do when tragedy strikes.  It is easy to be honest and brave and generous and considerate when everything is going your way.  It is when it is not--when we must face the sad, the unthinkable, even the horrific--that shows our true mettle.

So there has been much discussion in the past few weeks about what to teach our young adolescents, who were alive, but not cognisant at the time, about 9/11.  How much should we tell them?  Should we show them the actual videos of the death and the destruction, the fear and the courage, or will that still be too intense for this age?  How do we inform them about terrorism without making them live in fear?  And these are all good question to consider.  Undoubtedly, our students have been receiving more facts about this event in their schools, churches, and homes.

But even more important, I think, is how we model for them how to react to an act like this.  By the way we behave, are we teaching them to blame an entire race of people for the actions of a few?  Are we teaching them to hold onto anger, because of our own beliefs that forgiving will mean forgetting?  Or are we teaching them to look for what good we can, to see the heroism instead of just the terrorism, and to find a positive lesson even as we grieve for what has been lost?

Today, my son and I got to participate in a wonderful way to acknowledge the 10th anniversary of 9/11.  My friend Marcia, who runs the Triangle Kindness Project, lead a group of us in appreciating a few of our local fire fighters.  We delivered cakes donated by Harris Teeter, The Chef's Academy, and TKP to three of the area fire stations.

Terrible picture, but this Harris Teeter cake actually has a picture of one of the fire stations

Marcia read them a wonderful letter she wrote that acknowledged them not only for their service, but the selfless character they demonstrate through their jobs, which is a great role model for all of us, but especially for our children.

The guys were so appreciative, and so nice to us.  They let us try on JUST the air canisters worn by the fire fighters on 9/11 (that alone weighed 60 pounds) to give us an idea of what it was like to charge into the building with a hundred pounds of gear on, and even pulled out some fire engines for us to check out.

At another fire station, most of the fire fighters were out, preparing for some 9/11 commemoration events tomorrow.  The one who remained, however, was working with the Junior Explorers program, which gives high schoolers who are considering a career as a fire fighter after they graduate some hands-on experience in the fire fighting field.

I found it to be a really wonderful way to channel all those feeling and energy we have on 9/11 into a positive expression.  I'm really thankful that my son and I had the opportunity to participate.

I also have to acknowledge my son for his willingness to take part in this activity, which was fairly emotional for me.  Because he is such a wonderful drawer, I asked him to make a card for each of the fire stations.  I left the cards up to his discretion, but told him they should be respectful of the occasion.  He went off and worked on them, and ending up drawing hoses and fire hydrants and SUCH a better fire engine than I could ever draw.

But the best thing of all was what he wrote inside.  He is not like me, who tends to write on and on and on (as any regular reader knows).  In each card, he wrote just a single expression:

Thank you for your immeasurable service.

Then he signed it with his name, followed by "An appreciative kid."

And, really, who could improve on that?

Curriculum Resource: Teaching About 9/11

There is now just one month before the 10th anniversary of the attacks of 9/11/2001.  Most of our middle schoolers were alive during those painful times, but were too young to know what was going on.  However, with all of the focus we can expect on this 10th year remembrance, it will probably be a time when you want to have a serious discussion with your young adolescents about what happened that day.

The History Channel has a website that may facilitate your discussion.  Entitled 9/11 Attacks:  102 Minutes That Changed America, it has maps, interviews, videos, and other resources related to the events of that eventful day.  However, be prepared--there is a lot of on-the-spot footage that depicts both the terror, and the heroism, of that day.  I haven't watched all the videos myself yet, but the ones that make me the saddest are the footage of the firemen charging into the buildings without faltering, determined to saving lives in a place that I know is going to collapse around them.  So I don't know how emotional you are, but I know I need to preview these videos before sharing them with my son.  

On the other hand, in these times when our political systems appear to be in disarray, when our confidence in our country may be shaken, and when we are seeing the English riot in a way we would never expect from such a civilized country, it may not be bad to show our tweens these videos of people rising up and acting in such an honorable way, even though it cost many of them their lives.

Dealing with 9/11 with Middle Schoolers

As American, dealing with 9/11 each year is hard enough.  But as parents, dealing with 9/11 with our children adds another layer of complexity.

The typical range of middle school children, say 10-14 years old, means than those children were between 1 and 5, maybe 6, when the Twin Towers and Pentagon were attacked.  So the older ones probably have some memories of the event, or at least of how the adults in their lives reacted to it.  I was 7 when President Kennedy was assassinated.  My father was stationed in London, so we were living in a different country and so didn't experience the tragedy to the extent that children probably did in the US.  But I can remember not really understanding things, but knowing that something really bad, really significant had happened.  I can imagine that might be what some of our older middle school children might be experiencing around 9/11.

My son, however, was only 2 when the planes hit the buildings we had visited only a few months before.  Our family had averted personal tragedy, if only by chance.  My father, who lived in New York City at the time, was on the board of Fuji Bank, whose headquarters were located in the Twin Towers.  Had the terrorists chosen to attack on the third Monday in September, instead of the second, he would have been there for the monthly board meeting when the planes struck the buildings.  Instead, he was at home, able to watch the burning from downtown and knowing that many of his respected friends and colleagues had probably just perished.

But my son doesn't remember anything of all this.  And he is still of the age where 9/11 is kind of like a story, like the Iliad, the Odyssey, and all the other stories I tell him that are some mixed of myth and history and interpretation, but unenlightened by personal experience.

So the way we dealt with 9/11 this year was by pulling up stilt grass.

Lost among this year's controversies about burning Korans and building or banning mosques is the fact that last year, the Congress established 9/11 as a national day of remembrance through service.  So today our homeschool support group had a service project to pull stilt grass from a bird garden at one of the parks at which we have a monthly play date.  The ranger/educational director of the park explained how stilt grass was an invasive species used for packing purposes in Japan that was washed up onto American soil during Hurricane Fran, and was quickly taking over much open land.  In this case, it had overrun a bird garden the park had planted to provide food for the native birds that need to survive here over the winter.  Our job was to pull out the stilt grass as a first step in reclaiming and redesigning the bird garden.

We had 8 families and a total of 21 people who threw themselves into the task.  The most wonderful thing about the project was how much the children really got into the weeding.  They pulled, they piled, they jumped into the piles, they pulled again.  We were only supposed to weed for an hour, but most stayed for another half hour or so because they were having so much fun

So here is a picture of what it looked like when we started:

And this is what it looked like when we were done:

My son and I had talked about the whole 9/11 business on the way to the park, and also about some of the news items that are currently simmering around that issue.  But my son wasn't very connected to all that talk.  When I asked him after our weeding what he thought of the activity, he simply said, "Very satisfying."

I couldn't have summed it up better myself.