How to Write Good

It has been an intense week of writing for NaNoWriMo, so I thought I would end the week with a humorous piece of writing advice that was composed by Frank L. Visco and originally published in Writer's Digest (June 1986):

HOW TO WRITE GOOD
by Frank L. Visco

My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules:

1. Avoid Alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren’t necessary.
9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10. One should never generalize.
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
13. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14. Profanity sucks.
15. Be more or less specific.
16. Understatement is always best.
17. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
18. One word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be avoided.
21. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
22. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
23. Who needs rhetorical questions?

Hanukkah Book Review: A Whole Nother Story by Dr. Cuthbert Soup

After all those uplifting books, I thought I would go for one that is just plain fun--A Whole Nother Story by Dr. Cuthbert Soup.  The name alone probably tips you off to the fact that this is going to be a pretty silly book.  Once you read the following bio about the author, you'll be sure of it:  Dr. Cuthbert Soup was born in Vienna, Austria, at the height of the Great Sausage Famine. At twenty-three he dropped out of high school and moved to New York City, where he landed a gig playing elevator music. He was soon fired, however, as his trombone kept smacking other people in the elevator. He is currently the founder and president of the National Center for Unsolicited Advice, where he has served as an unofficial advisor to CEOs and heads of state, and has given countless inspirational lectures to unsuspecting crowds. In his spare time he enjoys cajoling, sneering, and practicing the trombone in crowded areas. Dr. Soup currently resides in a semi-secret location somewhere in the United States. This is his first book.

 The story is kind of wacky, and involves such items that kids really enjoy as a time machine, a traveling circus, international spies, cowboys and pirates...and much, much more.  It sort of reminds me of a silly, tween-oriented comedic version of the old Mission Impossible television shows, where they would have all these scenes that didn't seem to relate to each other, and the characters kept taking on new personalities, but it would all come together at the end, just in time to keep the bad guys from doing whatever they were trying to do.  In the same way, there are so many characters that you lose track of them, but they all end up having a role in the book's conclusion.

There are some good themes in the book, such as the importance of family and, once again, the importance of accepting people who are different, but it is mostly a light and humorous read.  But the humor is mostly from wacky or unexpected events or characters, not the more various-unpleasant-bodily-functions jokes of many juvenile comedies.  The humor was perfect for my highly-right-brained son;  I read it first, and after I read just a couple of chapters, I knew he would love it--and he did!  It is an easy read for middle schoolers, and is probably appropriate for most upper elementary students as well.